On October 12, 2012 I woke up with a job to do. I didn’t want to do it, per say, but I knew if everything went according to plan I would want data from this day to look back on. It would, hopefully, be a measure of triumph at some undetermined point in my life so in spite of my desire not to truly face my reality I got up and got on my bathroom scale. 314.0 is what it told me. The heaviest I have ever been in my life. Honestly, I’d felt it long before those digital numbers ever stared up at me. I felt it in my knees when I walked up stairs. I felt in in the size 48 pants that were starting to get snug. I felt every ounce of those 314 lbs. in my spirit every day I got up. The numbers were just confirmation that it was, indeed, time for a change.
Unfortunately for me the scale was just my first challenge of the morning. I reached for the tape measure. I unrolled it and took a deep breath as I pulled one end around my waist. I pinched the tape measure, belt-like, where the little metal end met the number 51 ¼. Damn, my waist is over 51 inches round… I was ashamed but happy I was the only person in the bathroom at that moment. Continue reading
The summer is almost over! This has truly been one of the best summers of my life. I’ve felt free and fearless. I’ve done things I never thought I could (or would) do.
And the best reward was when my wife told me that she is so happy that I like to be outside with her now. Seems like a little thing, but my desire to be out, active, and moving around has made a huge difference to her—to our lives in general.
She will come home from work and say, “Let’s go for a bike ride!” Yesterday’s Gia would’ve found any and every excuse possible not to do it. Today’s Gia simply says, “Get the helmets!”
Nine months in and I feel great! I’ve had one of the most active summers of my life this year. Mainly because I feel energetic, uninhibited, and unencumbered. I feel like anything is possible and all I have to do is get out there and do it. It seems like all the various areas of my life are coming together well—work, relationships, and health. I don’t credit all the good in my life to my weight loss, but I know that I’ve felt more comfortable stepping into my blessings with this smaller frame.
Having been overweight the majority of my life I think I had gotten used to that feeling of living inside what I can only describe as a cocoon. It completely surrounded me at all times. I toted it around, no matter how heavy it was, from place-to-place and had gotten used to people seeing that cocoon, and judging me based on their perceptions of what that meant about me as a person, before the real Gia—the one inside the cocoon—had a chance to properly introduce herself. I think other overweight people can identify with what I’m saying. You literally can feel your body surrounding you. You feel it when you walk. You feel it when you sit. You definitely feel it in crowds or when trying on clothes. It’s uncomfortable, but after a while you just get used to it. You learn to live with it.
This has probably been the most difficult month for me since I started this journey. I think it was a combination of birthdays, an extended family vacation, and general contentment with my current weight and size that caused me to kind of ease up on my routine. None of these are adequate reasons for not pushing myself as hard as I can, and that I know I should. But before I knew it, a month passed (since my last blog post) and I’ve only lost two pounds.
I just celebrated my four-month anniversary for my lap-band surgery! This has truly been one of the most remarkable times of my life. Things are changing so much, so quickly—I am changing so much, so quickly—that I can’t believe it was just a handful of months ago that I was feeling at my wits end regarding my weight. I think about the weight that I was carrying and how it impacted every aspect of my life. I didn’t realize how the weight was affecting me emotionally, psychologically, as well as physically. But now I can see that I was only living a fraction of my life and the extra weight that I was carrying around was holding me back in so many ways. The operative word in that last sentence is “was”. I am so liberated now and it feels absolutely amazing.